Saturday, September 27, 2008

Kill or Be Killed

On our last trip, I read the book Velvet Elvis as I explained in the blog before the last one. The other things that deeply affected me shall be the subject of this blog. You´re probably wondering, ¨what kind of title is that for a missionary´s blog?¨ Well, I´m glad you asked… hehe It will make more sense in just a minute when I quit rambling here and actually get to explaining what I mean by that title.
One of the chapters of Rob Bell´s book dealt with his perception of what a pastor should be, not what was realistically possible. His term for this is super-pastor: the pastor who can preach wonderful sermons on Sunday mornings, make visits to pretty much all of the members of his church every week, be a great role model every day all day, be a great father and husband without hardly trying, etc. He said that this perception of his was mostly subconscious; the effect of years and years of people, and the media (have to throw that in there for sociology… :P), saying what a pastor has to be in order to be effective. If you´re not doing all of the things listed above easily, then you´re just not a good pastor; that´s the thought that was drilled into his- and might I add, our- head throughout his life. Mr. Bell confessed that he always felt guilty because he couldn´t live up to those expectations, and I bet there are many, many pastors who feel the exact same way. Then he went on to say that he had to kill this idea of the super-pastor or it was going to destroy him, and burn him out (sound familiar? We all know of someone who got burned out quickly because they were trying to be the super-whatever in their eyes, and especially the eyes of others). So he took a day for himself and just sat down alone and focused all of his attention on the perceptions he had of the super-pastor, and methodically broke them down so that they weren´t causing him guilt. He said that it took a while and that they sometimes still haunt him- but not to the degree when he had no idea what was causing his anxiety and guilt- but that he feels tons better about being a pastor now, and that he´s just a human (no way!!) who has limits, and makes mistakes. He finally became authentic to himself, and more importantly the fellowship of brothers that is his church.
The next paragraph after he shares this story, he states that all of us have a super-whatever in our minds of our profession: super-missionary, super-manager, super-plumber, super-wife, super-Christian, whatever it is you do, you have an idea, most likely subconscious, of what you should be doing in that job to be worth anything (to the world) in it. He then said that we have to realize and kill the idea of super- (fill-in-the-blank) or be killed by it.
This touched me profoundly because I realized that I had a perception of super-missionary, and that I was by no means living up to that. So as a result, I felt like I was a super-failure of a missionary. I mean, a missionary is supposed to be planting churches left and right, baptizing hundreds of people, able to bring people into a relationship with Christ with just one conversation; that´s what I had been taught and read about when I was younger (just look at Acts, that´s a giant standard missionaries try to live up to). I hadn´t done even one of those things (surprise, surprise; so far I´ve walked and walked and walked) in my time with the IMB so far and I felt horrible about it, like I was just soaking up money from Lottie Moon and the churches who faithfully tithe to support the IMB. I was having this idea floating around in my head of the super-missionary, and that I was inadequately performing to that idea. I didn´t even know that this thought was affecting me so until I read Velvet Elvis and realized that I was being hindered greatly by this super-missionary. So, I think for the first time in my life, I set my book down in the middle of a chapter without finishing it, and went off to be alone for a while to try to sift through my perception of a missionary. I finally realized that I was obeying God´s plan for my life at this time, and that He has a plan for my time here; even if I never reach one single person in my time here, even if I get rejected in every village, even if I have to walk for countless and countless hours through the mountains. I will have faith that He is faithful to His children, and that He will always be with me, even if it is my darkest hour. After getting away by myself for a few hours, and reflecting on super-missionary and dispelling those ideas of him, I felt like a great weight had been lifted off of my chest. I returned to Javier, and the village, changed I believe. I realized I didn´t have to live up to the expectations of man, but only be obedient to God; He would take care of the rest.
I would like to challenge everyone to look inside themselves and discover their super-whatever and take time, be it an hour or a day, alone to dismantle your idea of him/her. If you don´t, your super-whatever will surely, slowly kill you because each one of us could never live up to that expectation we have of the super-whatever, no matter how hard we try. We need to be authentic with each other, and take off the mask that we are able to accomplish and be that person. I feel that if that were to happen, people being honest to themselves and others, we could be that much more successful in being the church.
A quick update to follow this blog: we are still here in Sucre, Bolivia. Things are slightly calming down, and we have been able to tentatively set a date to head out to the communities once more. But, as is the case in all countries, things could change in an instant so please keep praying for the talks to progress and a resolution reached. Also, we have news that one of the vice-presidents of the IMB will be visiting our team in October, and experience our life in the communities with us. So please pray for his safety as he travels here and also in the village. We have been translating and memorizing the Bible stories in Quechua so that´s another big request to keep in mind. Thank you so much for your support and prayers thus far. A definite praise of the result of your prayer is that things are somewhat more stable here in Bolivia in the last few days; this is a miracle in and of itself, because always things are volatile here. Tikunakama (until later)!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

New Records

I guess I should fill y'all in on our last trip... :) I know you're thinking, "Dang, Jeff, it's about time!!" and I apologize for the lateness of the update. Things have been quite interesting here in Bolivia so I use that excuse for the length of time it's taking me to write this... hehe
After we returned to the communities after our short trip into Llallagua to talk with our boss, it was with a different outlook that we set out. We changed our trip into an investigation trip to check out the villages to see if they had a church or believers in each. We started walking from Qolqa Pampa and crossed the river back to Pata Qhuchi. We were actually received this time by the caretaker of the village and he gave us a room to stay in whenever we are there so that was a very pleasant surprise supplied by God. The next day we walked to another village that had a church and we attended the service; there were only about eight women in the service because pretty much all of the men on that side of the river were away working in the cities to get some extra money during this slow month. The women didn't speak any Spanish so we had to utilize the Quechua we had learned to speak with them. It was a great and humbling experience because the women took an offering at the end of the service and then, surprising us greatly, gave all of it to us! They told us they wanted to support God's work in the area and the faith of these women was incredible. We were both struck speechless by their act of faith, and couldn't express our gratitude enough to them. Afterwards we went to another village that had, yet again, an amazing lack of men. We were sitting in the plaza and no one was showing any interest in us; it was getting late in the night, and we still had no place to sleep. I prayed outloud to God to provide a man to give us a place to sleep and after that literally four men approached us to talk. Shortly after that, we had a place to stay for the two days we were there. It's always amazing how God can provide for us while showing us that we need Him; there was no way that is was us that caused those men to come to us. We then spent the rest of our time on this trip in a village called Charaqi. Most of the men that were there were drunk for most of the time and there was no work whatsoever for us to help with. Because of this, we, at the most, got fed once a day for five days; and most of the time it was a bowl of potatoes to split between Javier and me. But God gave us that much at least as Matthew 6 says: he will provide for us, so there's no need to be anxious about all of it.
The records we set on this last trip are quite impressive if I don't say so myself... haha, and one will be disgusting to most people. The first is that Javier and I walked over 40 hours total on this trip. That's the most that any team of the Xtreme Team has walked in one trip to the best of my knowledge. My legs can definitely feel the difference of all that walking. And the second is that I didn't change any of my clothes for two straight weeks! I'm very proud of that, if for no other reason that people will be shocked, and grossed out by it. ;) We travelled very light the second time, and I decided that another set of clothes would be unnecessary to carry; very wise choice... hehe
I want to thank everyone for their prayers and support during this trip. It has been the most difficult trip we've had, including training. Without y'alls prayers, it would have been impossible to accomplish. The biggest prayer request I have right now is the situation with the goverment still. At least they are talking with the insurgents now so we're expecting things to calm down a little bit in the near future. We have been asked by the IMB to not leave Sucre for another week because of the conflicts. Also, please pray for us to be able to focus on practicing our Quechua while here in Sucre so that we can engage the people once we return to the villages. Thanks again to everyone for praying, and until next time!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Heaven to Earth

I meant to post this blog during the few days that Javier and I had in Llallagua but something held me back from doing so then and I didn´t know why but I think I do now: this will be a challenging blog to read and digest for some and I usually try not to rock the boat but this time I can´t help it. I need to get this off my chest and out there so y´all can be a part of it as well. Buckle up and put your hands above your head (figuratively, of course... but if you want to, really do it for a couple seconds ;P) because here it goes! Also, grab your Bible and look up the verses as you come upon them (I didn´t type most of them out to save space, but they are all important).
The first part of this last trip Javier and I were on, I was able to have a few days of rest. During that time I read a book called Velvet Elvis. Some of you may have read it as well; it´s by a pastor named Rob Bell, the goofy guy from the Nooma videos. I read this book one time a while back but I decided to read it again on this trip. And I am very, very glad I did so. For those of you who don´t know me very well, I freakin´ love books! And for me to say that a book has `changed´ me had never happened... before now. I don´t know what I was doing the first time I read Velvet Elvis but I must have been in Neverland picking my nose! Because this time, from when I opened it for the first time to when I finally was able to put it down completed, I got so much from what Mr. Bell wrote that I can honestly say it opened my eyes to a few things.
There were three different things that Rob Bell talked about that have deeply affected me but I will only share one of them in this blog (the other two might be another blog... hehe). He pointed out that everytime Jesus talked about the coming of the Kingdom of Heaven/God, he talked about it like it would come here. This deeply affects the way we should view this life we have here. We have had this view of us ascending into heaven to spend eternity with God and our Lord Jesus Christ, but that is never mentioned in the Bible (for an awesome picture of what will happen, read Revelation 21). Rob Bell then made a great point that I have been trying to apply to my life every day since I read it; he said that it should be our goal to, in every possible moment, bring heaven to earth. We should always be looking for opportunities to share the Kingdom with everyone we come across. I am not saying that we have to preach to everyone we come across in order to `win them´ to the Kingdom. Just the opposite, in fact: our actions should speak far louder than any preacher, pastor, evangelist, missionary, etc to open people´s eyes to the Kingdom. We should be on the look out to share, though our actions, how Jesus has changed us to be different from the world. Little acts of kindness can go a heck of a lot farther than the best sermon (sorry, pastors...). Romans 12:9-13. Helping someone load their groceries, giving your leftovers from Cheddar´s (mmm...) to a homeless person, visiting a nursing home just to talk and make a connection with the lonely people there, anonymously paying for someone´s dinner, volunteering time in the community, helping someone whose car broke down on the side of the road, the list is quite literally endless! Matthew 25: 31-40.
This is the part that I was hesitant about until now: I would like to challenge everyone who reads this (and don´t be shy to share with your Christian brothers and sisters; this is for everyone, not just the readers of this blog) to bring `heaven to earth.´ It might help in the beginning if you set a goal for every week (or day) but please, I beg you, DO NOT limit yourself to that goal. If another opportunity arises, don´t think ¨Oh well, I already reached my goal, can´t help ya....¨ Be eager and ready to share the Kingdom with everyone at any time with your actions. Galatians 6:9. If the person asks you ¨Why?¨ just reply ¨I´m just trying to demonstrate my love for Jesus Christ by doing everything I can to bring heaven to earth.¨ You´ll definetely get strange looks every now and then, but I bet they will be intrigued more often than not about the difference in this stranger who just randomly helped them. John 13:34-35. Lastly, please, please, please do not share with each other your `latest act´ lest it become a competition to see who can be the better `good samaritian.´ Matthew 6:1-4. Rather, simply ask one another ¨Have you brought heaven to earth lately?¨ Hear me on this, brothers and sisters, the answer is not important (in fact, it would be better if you didn´t answer) but the fact that that each one of you is keeping this in the front of your mind to be ready to jump at the opportunity to help another person is what´s really important.
I pray that, together, by `bringing heaven to earth´ we will be able to show people that we are different from the world and that we are trying to become more like our Lord Jesus (John 13:12-17) every chance we get. I believe that we can change the world by these acts into a better place (which would be heaven, would it not?) because these acts will open people´s eyes up/lead them to the Kingdom far more effectively than if you preached to them the Roman´s Road, the Four Spiritual Laws, Creation-to-Christ, or any other evangelism tract. As Rob Bell put it so perfectly: ¨The goal of the Christian faith isn´t escaping this world but making this world the kind of place God can come to.¨ ¨So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, `We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.´¨ Luke 17:10.
Here are a few Scripture that might help you with this task as well: Mark 10:42-45, Luke 6:35, Luke 12:32-34, Luke 14:12-14.